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What's white, metallic and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A washing machine!
Covers Yo Mumma! and Mommy Mommy
Aimed usually at the irish and american.
What's white, metallic and if it falls out of a tree will kill you?
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What's white, metallic and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A washing machine!
Covers Yo Mumma! and Mommy Mommy
•Your Mothers so fat they had to baptize her at seaworld
•Your Mothers twice the man you are!
•Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang "We are family!"
•Your Mums so fat, she fell in love and broke it!
•Mommy Mommy, I don't like fishing
Shut up and stop squirming
•Mommy Mommy can I lick the bowl?
Shut up and flush!
•Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
•Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the right way to cook Peking Duck?
Shut up and close the microvawe oven door behind you!
Shut up and close the microvawe oven door behind you!
• Mommy Mommy, what's for dinner?
Shut up and get back into the oven!
• Mommy, Mommy why do I have to hop everywhere?
shut up or i'll chop your other leg off
Aimed usually at the irish and american.
Ah you lovable Americans
George W. Bush went to Vegas on a presidential agenda.He took a break and walked over to a vending machine.He put a quarter in it and out popped a soda. He was so facinated and excited, he kept putting in quarters and getting more sodas. His assistant tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Mr.President,it is time to go." Bush looked up in extreme shock and said,"Can't you see I'm winning?"
Nun
Herman was walking up to his doctors office when a nun comes out screaming.
herman walks in and asks "what was wrong with that nun?"
the doctor replied: "i just told her that she was pregnant"
"that nun got knocked up?" Herman asked incredulously
to which the doctor replies: "No, but that news certainly cured her hiccups!"
Tits
One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me," our man stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla was about to deck our poor guy when his wife appeared and stopped him. She pulled him inside and they discussed the offer for a few moments. Finally, they returned and asked our friend to step inside. "OK," the husband said gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's tits." At this, the wife unbuttoned her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hung free at last. Our man took one in each hand, and proceeded to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This went on for several minutes, until the husband got annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growled. "I can't," replied our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demanded the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand dollars."
Order
How does michael jackson pick his nose ?
with help from a catalogue and delivery service
Utensils
A washing machine
___
Woof
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
wherever you left it!
___
Lookie
The Brunette says: "oh look a dead bird!"
The blond looks up and says: "where"
God & Girls
There were three blondes who wanted to cross a river.
So the first blonde asked God if he would make her smart enough to know how to swim and cross the river. So God did.
The second blonde asked God to make her smart enough to build a raft and croos over the river. So God did. When the third blonde was about to ask God for her wish, God said, "I'm tired of you blondes and your dumb wishes." So he made the third blonde smart enough to see the bridge and cross over it.
So the first blonde asked God if he would make her smart enough to know how to swim and cross the river. So God did.
The second blonde asked God to make her smart enough to build a raft and croos over the river. So God did. When the third blonde was about to ask God for her wish, God said, "I'm tired of you blondes and your dumb wishes." So he made the third blonde smart enough to see the bridge and cross over it.
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