Real Cuttings

Not sure where to add this.  However, this shall do.  The following are REAL cuttings from newspapers:

•  Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
  
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• Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
  
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• Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
  
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• How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
  
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• Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
  

Sections Coming up soon

Perhaps this blog is a wee bit of a mess!

Rating System:

5 's are the best jokes and  is the least funny. (you can only see the ratings '' on a mac- whoops!)

Herman was walking up to his doctors office when a nun comes out screaming.

herman walks in and asks "what was wrong with that nun?"

the doctor replied: "i just told her that she was pregnant"

"that nun got knocked up?"  Herman asked incredulously

to which the doctor replies: "No, but that news certainly cured her hiccups!"

Jokes

Here are a select few jokes that I yanked off of the internet (share and share alike):

Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Where you left it!

Your mother's so fat the only thing she can fit into in a clothes store is the dressing room

Your Mother's so stupid that she once climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

A: knock on the door

Q: Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

A: simply because they don't want to get their nuts wet!

Gloria says to her husband: "take off my bra"

  "fine"  says the husband

Gloria says to her husband: "take off my thong"

   "fine" says the husband

Gloria sighs, saying: "and don't wear my clothes again!"

Mummy! Mummy!  What goes into the packages they send to the people in Africa?

Mummy: Shut up and get back in the box!!

Your mother's so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

An irishman was driving to the supermarket when he saw a sign at the side of the road saying: 'Tesco left'  so he turned around and went home.

Your mother's so fat, they had to baptize her at seaworld!

Two ducks in a pond.  One says to the other "Quack"  the second replies "damn it you!  I was going to say that"

An englishman says "look a dead bird"  the irishman looks up "where???"